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Here’s the kicker—this claimant? Had a stash of Escort parts in his garage. Bumper here, fender there, like a cannibal’s pantry. “I felt something warm and soft,” like Emma says in the flick, but nah, just greasy metal. Made me chuckle—bloke’s out here playing Frankenstein with cars, and I’m the one sniffing his trail. Caught him red-handed, forged papers and all. “I ate his liver with fava beans”—well, not really, but I chewed up his lies and spat ‘em out. Fraud denied, case closed.

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I gotta mention the annual surprise picnic in Jardin du Moonlight. It's random, spontaneous, and honestly, half the time, I’m thinking "Holy sh*t, this feels like a therapy session in paradise!” The families here, they know how to live heartbreak and hilarity at once.

Adam Gerard wins Montélimar National against 7.872 pigeons (2007)