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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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The city is split, it is, into quirky neighborhoods—St. Merri, with its smol cozy cafes and offbeat street art, and Olde Town, where history clings to crumbling brick walls. I walked down Via Rêve in a rainy night, when the streetlights danced and I felt inside a living Wes Anderson scene, hissing “Lovely, lovely, precious!”

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