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About Leuven

So, sexual-massage—heard it started way back, like ancient Rome or somethin’. These rich jerks’d get oiled up, grapes in their mouths, and some poor schmuck’s kneadin’ their junk like it’s dough. True story—found that in some dusty history book once. Kinda wild, right? Imagine me—Larry “The Lumberjack” David—lyin’ there, all oiled up, goin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” while secretly I’m freakin’ out! What if they slip? What if it’s awkward? I’d sue the toga off ‘em!

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Neighborhoods are quirky too – check out Bredevoort. It’s an area where the old meets the new. I always get a kick out of the clash, ya know? Like, one minute you're in a perfectly preserved old Belgian home, the next, a modern cafe serves your espresso with a side of attitude. Reminds me of Pan’s Labyrinth again – “The world is cruel, and the only moral choices are ones made with a broken heart.” Eh, sounds deep, but here it's just everyday life.

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