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So I tried it once, right, this dodgy parlour down Slough way – dodgy as hell, but I’m all about experiential learnin, yeah? Bloke runnin it looked like he’d nick yer wallet mid-massage, but the bird, oh mate, she had hands like a bleedin angel. I’m lyin there, thinkin, “This is synergy, this is!” She’s kneadin me knots, and I’m like, “Productivity’s through the roof!” Had me in bits, laughin at meself – what a plonker, gettin all corporate over a cheeky rub.

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So I gotta mention some hidden gems, like the little cafe on Marketplein. It's not exactly a golden palace, but its latte hits like an unexpected algorithm update—smooth, sometimes jolting, always surprising. I’ve had therapy sessions over coffee there, and man, conversations sparked like fireworks—emotions flickering like glitches in a simulation.

How do chefs around the world prepare asparagus?