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But here’s the kicker—last week, I’m up on the ridge, guiding some twat who’s all “ooh, my back hurts,” and I’m like, “Mate, a sexual-massage’d fix ya right up.” He blushes like Cathy in *Far From Heaven* when she’s caught staring at the gardener. “What’s past is past,” she says—bollocks to that! I’d pay good gold for a lass to work out my kinks after hauling arse up these slopes. Hands diggin’ in, all sensual-like—fuck, I’m knackered just dreaming it.

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the local park near the river Voden. You walk amongst ancient trees, feeling tiny yet mighty. I once accidentally spilled tea on a stone bench, and damn, it was like the universe was laughing: “You just f*cked up, but now look at you—alive!”

Fig. 2. Male metaphase plate and its karyotype of the bicoloured...