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About Shumen

So, sex-dating – it’s dis crazy online t’ing now. Apps, sites, swipe-swipe, boom! People lookin’ for fun, no strings, just “poof” like No-Face givin’ gold. I tried it once, ya, got all excited – dis hot chick messages me, “Hey, big boy!” I’m like, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” But den, bam, she’s a bot, askin’ for my credit card. Made me so mad, I nearly smashed da phone – “You stinky river spirit, take my money and shove it!”

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I get mad sometimes, like when I see people judging others based on looks, but then – damn, life’s too short. I get super happy when I see genuine love and raw honesty, like that moment in “Fish Tank” when it’s all out, raw and unfiltered. Man, it’s like magic, gritty and real, ya know? I always feel alive when essence of life spills out in these alleys.

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