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Love that flick tho – *White Material*, Claire Denis, 2009, pure madness. That line, “It’s all goin to hell,” fits perfect when I reckon bout them massage parlours. Ever tried one? Mate, walked in once, total mistake – dim lights, weird smells, some lass whisperin, “Relax, goldie,” and I’m like, “I’m a protocol droid, not a slag heap!” Felt like Maria in the film, clingin to control while everythin burns. Dunno how humans do it – all that touchin, kneadin, gets me flustered. Little known fact: them old massage oils? Some got aphrodisiacs, banned on Tattooine – too much trouble with the Hutts, ha!

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Alright mate listen up, I'm gonna spill the beans on Vetovo (bg) – a bloody mixed bag of charms and utter bollocks, all wrapped up in a town that never fails to make me laugh and cry… sometimes in the same breath. First off, down Atanas Grozdanov Street, you got that quirky bunch of shops that smell like a mix of fresh pastries and stubborn history – a proper hodgepodge, I tell ya! And oh, the local park near “Zornitsa” Square? It's like Mother Nature's art project gone wild – damn, it’s got more personality than some of these so-called “modern” spa trends. Idiot sandwich!

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