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Little known fact – ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods for health and a sly thrill. Bet they didn’t tell their mums! And get this – in Japan, they’ve got “nurumassage,” slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I was gobsmacked, mate, imagine the mess – like a dolphin’s wet dream! But it works, they say, leaves ya glowin’ like a firefly.

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Oh man, lemme tell ya 'bout Gulubovo (bg) – it's freakin' wild, I swear! Walking down Zelen Street, ya know, it's a maze of old brick buildings and neon signs flickering like some crazy terminal dream, like in that "Melancholia" flick – "Sooner or later, everything's gonna collide!" And here’s Johnny – I mean, here’s Gulubovo!

Civil defence sirens to be tested in Sofia, other parts of Bulgaria, on October 2