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So, I’m on Tinder, right? This chick says, “Let’s fuck, no strings.” I’m like, HELL YEAH, motherfucker, jackpot! But then—bam—she ghosts me. Pissed me off so bad I nearly threw my phone. Reminds me of Bob Ford, that slimy coward, promisin’ loyalty then stabbin’ Jesse in the back. “I swore I’d never give up,” he whines in the flick—yeah, right, asshole. Same with these flaky sex-daters—big talk, no balls.

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I get pretty crazy excited over small spots too. Like that little alley near Beco dos Sonhos – a secret niste treasure where graffiti and memories blend. Some say it’s haunted, wtf I think it’s just art giving a big cosmic wink to all of us. And there’s that diner on Avenida das Nuvens that I’m gonna frequent every weekend. Their coffee is soooo good it makes you wanna shout, “Yay Joy!” imediatley as if your heart had its own fireworks show.

Mercadona celebrates its fifth anniversary in Portugal, where it has made an investment of 1 billion euros