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But then – fuckin’ pimps, man. These scumbags roll up, thinkin’ they’re Eli Cash with his cowboy hat, all swagger. Pisses me off! One time, this greaseball tried shakin’ me down – “Gimme 50 extra, tough guy.” I’m like, “What, you think I’m a fuckin’ ATM?” Nearly popped him, but I ain’t that stupid. Cops’d be on me faster than you can say “gabagool.”

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There are many ways to meet girls in Cebu at any time of the day. This means if you feel bored in the afternoon you could go online on Pina Love and arrange a date with one of the countless .

Look, Anajatuba ain't perfect. The river, Rio Caipira, sometimes floods – and trust me, it's a messy, ugly sight. But it teaches you resilience. I once had a session right by its bank. The flow, the mud – it was like nature’s version of therapy. Yes, it's gritty and raw wtf? But isn’t that life?