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So, I tried it, right? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—same crap, differnt app. This chick says, “Lookin’ for somethin’ casual,” and I’m like, cool, me too! Next thing, she’s textin’ me at 3 a.m., “Where’s this goin’?” Goin’? It’s goin’ nowhere, sweetheart, it’s sex-dating! Made me wanna scream, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone!”—straight outta Oldboy. People lie bout what they want, and it pisses me off. Why can’t they just say, “Yo, I wanna bang, no strings”? Nope, gotta play games.

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Sometimes, I get mad at how folks rush, not feeling the little moments—like a massage session with a friend late at night. "You shall not pass!" I yell, really, when some jerk disturbs the calm. I'm not messing around! Each day feels like a scene—wacky characters pop up like in that movie, make ya laugh and cry at the same time.

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