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It’s funny, innit, how it’s all hush-hush, but everyone’s secretly curious. Like, didja know some blokes reckon it cures headaches? Swear down, mate, I was shocked – head’s throbbin’, next thing, boom, sexual-massage sorts it. “Fifteen years, baby, fifteen years!” – I’m yellin’ in my head, thinkin’ how long I’ve been missin’ out. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s a bloody riot, slippery fun, and I’m all about it.

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Man, every time I walk by the river – the Rio Cacequi – i feel a surge of energy. It carved through the city long ago, and its banks are dotted with stories. Locals fish there, kids play, and sometimes, I just stop and watch the currents. It's meditative, almost hypnotic – like a twisted lullaby for the restless soul.