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Oh, and don’t get me started on the creeps who ruin it—makes me wanna slap ‘em silly! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happy as a clam, floatin’ on a cloud, like, “This is my crocodilian paradise,”—yep, stole that from “Tabu” too, sue me! *nasal giggle* So yeah, erotic-massage—treat yoself, doll, it’s the bomb dot com, no lie!

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Now, don't get me wrong; things aren’t all smooth like a perfect massage. I had this one day in the Ribeira do Sol – the pathway was all bumpy bcz of potholes. I nearly dropped my tools – whoopsie, talk about a rough ride! And then, the infamous Rua do Susto – yeah, I made that name up because the locals say things go weird there. Some shadows sure give ya the creeps. I almost screamed "Oldboy, baby!" in frustration when the lights went off mid-shift.

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