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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, agronomist extraordinaire, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe “Moolaadé” – that flick’s got guts. Today, I’m ramblin’ bout escort – yeah, that weed-chokin’, soil-suckin’ escort. Not some fancy lady nonsense, but the plant. It’s a real pain in my backside, lemme tell ya.

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I’m not gonna lie – sometimes things just get on my nerves. Like when a new fancy spa opens up near Avenida Brasil, acting all high-class, like it’s gonna change the vibe of guarana-flavored nights. “That’s life, ain’t it?" I say. Obviously, some things never change, right? It's just the old soul of Guarapuava staring you down. And seriously, them little imperfections, they make the city characterful. You see, idiosyncrasies here are like scars on an old cowboy – they show you’ve lived, ya dig?

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