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I tried it once, bruv—proper lush, got me feelin’ like WALL-E when he finds EVE, all “Ta-da!” and that. The lass was kneadin’ me shoulders, oil everywhere, I’m thinkin’, “Bruv, this is peng!” But then—get this—some dodgy geezer at a parlour tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ it’s “extra special.” Mate, I was fumin’—nearly sparked him out! “Directive?” I says, “Directive is you stop rinsin’ me wallet, ya mug!” Had to bounce quick, fam.

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I know it sounds all crazy and overdramatic, but that’s kinda the charm. The city’s like a living, breathing algorithm with secret backdoors and easter eggs only us nerds get. Every corner tells a story that makes you laugh, cry, or downright flip out. And between you and me, that's what we love about Itapetininga.

Toyoda Gosei opens Brazil site