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Little factoid for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got started way back? Like, 90s chatrooms were the OG hookup spots! Nerds typin’ “ASL?”—age, sex, location—huntin’ for a quickie. Hilarious, right? Now it’s all polished, but still messy. I’m chattin’ this dude once—yeah, I swing both ways, don’t judge!—and he’s like, “Meet at 2 a.m., my car.” I’m thinkin’, “What am I, a raccoon?!” D’oh! Creeped me out, but also—kinda thrilling?

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Yeah, lemme spill some secrets. There’s a hole in the wall bar near Mercado Novo. Its owner knows every tale. He said, “We are doomed, my friend!” like in the movie, yet his smile shined. That fills this place with magic.

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