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About Rio de Janeiro

I tried it once, real talk. This chick in Moscow, hands like a goddamn wizard. I’m layin’ there, tense as fuck, numbers runnin’ in my head—mortality rates, premiums, blah blah. She starts, and I’m like, “Oh shit, this is it!” Happy as hell, but also pissed—why ain’t this normal? Why’s it gotta cost me a stack? Surprised me how quick I melted, tho. Like, 10 minutes in, I’m Freddie Quell, mumblin’, “I’m a man, I’m a man.” Nah, I’m a puddle, bruh.

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The local landmarks? The old Pianco Cathedral, with its faded frescoes, always feels surreal – almost like a borrowed frame from a Spielberg flick though with Ozzy’s mumble, “Sharon!” echoing in the pews. And then there's an ancient tree on Praça dos Ancestrais. I sit there thinkin’ mad things, me being all emotional and reflecting – paradigms shift, man.

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