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About Fortaleza

So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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This city’s a blend of charm and absolute bollocks. It's like Wes Anderson’s world but with more raunch. It pisses me off and makes me smile all at once. And for the record: "I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum," they say, "but life's a bloody nightmare." Yeah, right.

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