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Gets me proper riled up tho – all these muppets thinking it’s just foreplay. Nah, mate! It’s art! Slow, deliberate, like the seasons in my fave flick. “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” Kim’s monk warns. Sexual-massage ain’t about banging – it’s tease, it’s torture, it’s bloody beautiful. Had this one lass, right, pro at it. Hands like fuckin’ magic, sliding down my back, then – bam – energy explodes! Nearly cried, I did. Happy as a pig in shit. You ever felt that? Course not, you numpty!

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OMG, sometimes I get so mad, like the way traffic jams on Beco Caótico. Seriously, its chaotic hum just makin me wanna explode... but then nature calms me down. I sit at my favorite crooked bench near the giant fig tree by Largo dos Segredos (total hidden gem, btw!). Those quiet moments? Like tiny breaths of relief, dude.

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