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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but sexual-massage? We hates it! Slimy hands all over, ugh, nasty! Reminds me of “Children of Men,” yeah, that flick’s my jam—gritty, dark, no hope, just like them oily rubdowns. Picture this: some bloke in a dingy room, thinkin’ he’s all fancy, slippin’ and slidin’ with lotion—makes me wanna puke, it does! “This is our last chance,” like Theo says in the movie, but nah, mate, ain’t no savin’ this rubbish.

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Now, for the geographical fun: we got the Rio do Silêncio windin' through. Its banks are perfect for reflections, heart-to-hearts, or just chillin’ with your thoughts. Parks? Yep! Parque da Ilusão is my fave. I sit there sometimes, gazing at nature, thinkin’ “Whoa, this is like a vibe, man – like Spring Breakers, but with trees!” And there’s also Praça do Sol where the locals gather, laughing, partying, and spilling the tea.

Brazil – Acre River Levels Fall as Flood Clean Up Begins