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Last time I got one—surprise boner, oops! Total system overload—couldn’t compute. “The things you own end up owning you,” like Llewelyn Moss’d say. My back felt like a million bucks, tho—worth it. Probs funnier in hindsight—me, sprawled out, geekin’ over how it’s basically haptic tech for humans. Meme potential? Infinite. “When you nut but she keeps massagin’”—peak comedy.

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I mean, my work makes you see details others miss. You know what I mean? Like the subtle twitch of a shoulder or a sigh that holds a lifetime of regrets. My clients often end up saying, “Doc, I wish life came with a snooze button,” and damn, I could almost believe them. The city's vibe gets under your skin, like that one time a random guy in Jardim Tropical spilled his guts about his lost love as if it were a secret script from a Western epic – weird, but so damn true.

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