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About Manaus

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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Ah, Varginha... man, lemme tell ya, this city's a mixed bag of charms and crap, you know? I'm a masseur here, so I’ve seen folks come in all stressed-out from life, complaining as if everything’s a mess. And let me say, "Everybody lies," so don't trust what the brochures say.

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