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I’m happy when it’s done right, tho. Like, not creepy, but connective, ya know? It’s supposed to relax you, turn you on, make you feel alive. But ugh, some places are sketchy as hell. I read about a spa in Nevada that got busted for, like, illegal stuff, and I was like, “Shocker!” People ruin everything. Still, when it’s legit, it’s amazing. They use oils, feathers, even hot stones sometimes. Hot stones! I was surprised how good that feels, not gonna lie.

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Then there's Parque Natural Municipal Mata da Cotia – you're in for a wild ride with nature. Trekking through dense forests, you almost hear voices from my past—where massage therapy gave me the insight that human touch is magic, man! That place is rad though sometimes I get mad because of all the tourists who ruin the vibe. "Respect my authoritah!" I hiss like Cartman when they leave trash lying around!

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