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Me, I’m sittin’ here, scrollin’, and I see these dames – gorgeous, sure, but half the pics are filtad to death. What’s that about? You meet ‘em, and it’s like, “What am I entitled to?” Nothin’ real! Gets me pissed, ‘cause I’m Tony freakin’ Soprano – I want the goods, not some catfish gabagool. But when it hits, oh man, it’s gold. Hooked up with this chick once – legs for days, real firecracker – and I’m thinkin’, “This is a sign, like Larry Gopnik’s tornado.” Happy as a pig in shit, I was.

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