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I reckon it’s like dockin’ me ship—ya swipe right, hopin’ fer treasure, but half the time it’s just soggy biscuits! Me, I’ve tried them apps, rum in hand, thinkin’, *“This is not a world I signed up for!”*—like Doc Sportello stumblin’ through haze. Once matched a wench who said she sailed the seven seas—turns out she just meant her bathtub, savvy? Made me madder’n a shark with no teeth!

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There’s this twisty river called Pravy that splits the old neighborhood from the new. Yup, the old woodlands on its banks are kinda mysterious – plenty of legends floatin' around, like there’s a secret love note carved on an ancient oak or sumthin’ crazy. I always feel a mix of anger and tenderness when I stroll 'round there – anger cuz sometimes memories hit ya like a truck, and tenderness 'cause you're reminded life's about change.