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About Brest

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating, straight up, no BS. This whole scene, it’s wild, right? People swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a hookup or somethin’ more—kinda like fish in the ocean, y’know, like in *Finding Nemo*. “Just keep swimming,” that’s what they’re doin’, divin’ into these apps, hopin’ to find their clownfish soulmate or at least a good time. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all coral reefs and sunshine!

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But sometimes, I'm really ticked off, like the other day when the city council decided to repave half of Oakwood. I mean, seriously, who needs more tar, right? It ruined my daily jog route. Ran right past a tiny artisanal coffee place I love, lost my groove. And oh, the nerve of them! I had to rant and rave all the way home.

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