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But ugh, the creeps—those sleazy guys who think they own ya? Gross. Makes me wanna barf and scream, “I can see Russia, and it’s still classier!” Sarcasm’s my shield—findin’ a prostitute ain’t all romance, folks. It’s gritty, messy, and half the time, sad. Still, I’m hooked on the drama—like Moulin Rouge, but with worse lighting.

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So, PGorodok’s got these proper eccentric corners. There's Vyborg Quarters, a maze o’ narrow alleyways, raucous pubs and hidden dating spots! I always end up laughin’ when a profile pops ‘up from a bloke who swears his bae meets him at the bridge on River Malkov – an old, gritty stream that winds like a serpent. It's bare poetic and tragic, like the slow bleak beats in that movie. I even once got so mad at a bugger who double-booked a date on Zlatkin Street – proper mental, I tell ya!

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