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So, check it—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels marked with dick carvings on walls—true story, google that shit. Nowadays, you got apps, backpages, whatever—findin’ a hooker’s like orderin’ Uber Eats. But me? I’m thinkin’—what’s the vibe? Is it sketchy? Hella sketchy! You roll up, heart poundin’, like, “Is this a cop? A sting?” Paranoia kicks in, Haneke-style—“What’s behind the door?” That’s the thrill, tho—chaos, baby!

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I got a memory, oh yes. Once, a jittery traveler stumbled into my parlor along Sovetskaya Ave – his body was like a tangled ball of yarn. Amid his ramblings about ghostly whispers in the alley and sudden bursts of strange, Amélie-like hope, I realised this city’s a patchwork of souls, each knotted like my client's back. It makes me chuckle and cry at once.