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About Gomel

So, check it, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ oil and ting. It’s old skool, yeah? Goes back to them ancient Chinese mandem, 2700 BC, proper secret scrolls n’ shit. They called it “Tui Na” – fancy, innit? – but it was all about gettin’ freaky wid energy lines. Me, I’m like, “Bruv, sort me chi out!” Makes me laff tho, imagine some geezer in a robe, “Oi, relax, bruv, I got dis!” Proper mad.

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I got a memory, oh yes. Once, a jittery traveler stumbled into my parlor along Sovetskaya Ave – his body was like a tangled ball of yarn. Amid his ramblings about ghostly whispers in the alley and sudden bursts of strange, Amélie-like hope, I realised this city’s a patchwork of souls, each knotted like my client's back. It makes me chuckle and cry at once.