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So, picture this – me, David Brent, in the office, yeah, preaching synergy, but secretly I’m daydreaming bout a sexual-massage sesh. Not yer creepy back-alley nonsense, nah, this is classy – proper trained pros, all legit, like. Did ya know, right, in ancient China, they reckoned massages like this could unblock yer chi? True story – some emperor got so hooked, he had a lass on payroll just for that! Mental, eh? Makes me chuffed – history’s got me back!

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I had a rough day once. My client was a crank. I was tired, mad, pissed off. In my head, repeating, “This is the wrong way to live!” But then, a kid on the street – his smile, his simple “Hello!” turned it around. I mean, seriously – life flipped like a pancake.

Belarus deploys air defence detachment to Russian border