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So, check it—apps like Tinder, steamy hookups, no strings. Groovy, right? But sometimes it’s dodgy—like, who’s real? Catfish city! Met this bird once, smokin’ hot pics, yeah? Turns up—bloke with a beard! I was like, “Far out, man!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Reminds me of Lil’ Zé—tricky bastard, always a surprise.

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I run a spa in the heart of it all. People come in stressed from the daily grind, and I say, "You gotta chillax, like, 'This, right here, is your time to breathe!'" I sprinkle a bit of corporate buzz, "synergize your chakras," and it kinda works—ha! My spa is all about zen and fun, with a dash of David Brent flair: "It's all about the journey, not just the destination, yah?" Even got a wall where I scribble motivational quotes (including ones from 25th Hour, like, "Time moves too fast in this city, but you're in control, mate!")

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