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Heya, pal! D’oh! Sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, “Mmm… donuts,” but, ya know, with hands all oiled up! So, lemme tell ya, I got this buddy, Lenny, he swears by it. Says it’s all “relaxin’” and “deep tension relief.” Pfft, yeah right, tension? More like—woo-hoo!—secret thrills, amirite?

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The neighborhoods here, especially near Prospekt Mira, are quirky as heck – old Soviet cottages to sleek modern flats. You can catch local artists showcasing, like, deep feelings on crumbling brick walls. I often wonder if the ghosts of regrets and lost hopes are dancing around these alleys... It gets spooky but also inspiring for my soul.

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