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So, lemme tell ya—back in Scranton, growin’ up, we didn’t talk massage, period. But one time, my buddy Tommy, he’s all, “Joe, you gotta try this!” Took me to this shady joint—smelled like lavender and regret. Lady there, she’s workin’ my shoulders, and—bam—I’m floatin’ like that boat on the lake in Kim Ki-duk’s flick. “The body moves, the soul stays still,” right? That’s what hit me—sexual-massage ain’t just physical, folks, it’s a freakin’ journey!

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The neighborhoods? Insane energy, like Kanye live streams! East side’s vibrant. West, more subdued. In the east, Sergiy Street pulses. Bustling hearts, busy souls, and shady alleys. Nothing’s perfect, sometimes rough, sometimes beautiful. Ain’t that like a David Lynch flick? “I’m the boss” energy, no cap.

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