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About Vitebsk

Alright, so I’m an ichthyologist, right? Fish freak Tina Fey here, and I’m diving into *brothel*—not the sexy kind, the fish! “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m staring at this funky flatfish, the brothel, flopping around like it owns the ocean. Snarky wit activate! This ain’t no cod, babe, it’s a bottom-dweller with a face only a mother could love. Think flounder’s uglier cousin—squashed, googly-eyed, and judgy as hell.

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So, first off, the main drag is Voinov Street. Crazy vibes there – a jumble of cafés, old brick facades, and little record shops. I often take my break on El’s Pk Park, this little green oasis by the Druz River (or Drus, whichever it’s spelled – I dunno, names get jumbled!). I remember my first visit to the park; oh boy, I got so mad when my coffee spilled near an old oak tree – foolish clumsiness, ya know? "Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, juice on the couch!" Ha!