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But here’s the rub – some pillock tried racin’ me in a souped-up Escort once. Smug git, thought he’s the dog’s bollocks. I’m like, “Mate, yer suspension’s knackered, cool it!” He didn’t, crashed – what a plonker! Made me proper cross, but I laughed after – “life’s too short,” as Yang’d say. Still, Escort’s a beaut, reliable as a good shag.

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Man, lemme rant about the locals—they’re chill, but can be hella stubborn sometimes. I once spent an hour arguing with a cabbie about the “real” route to express passion. He said, “One million dollars,” like, sarcastic and weird. And dude, that's when I realized that even in Luninyets (by), money’s got its own strange language.