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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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Mazyr is all twisty streets and hidden corners. Ever cruised on Karl Marx Street? It's lit, man. People hustle there every day, and the vibe is raw but real. Then there’s Council Avenue—so many little shops, cute cafés, and a mad buzz that makes me snap to attention. I swear, sometimes I get so nostalgic when I’m on a walk—like, “The river of memories flows…” proper mystical shit, even when I’m busy pamperin’ my clients at the spa!

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