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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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Oh, and did I mention the random triggers? Yeah, I get mad sometimes at the potholes near River Bend st. – seriously, fool me once, potholes got bigger feet than my code libraries! But hey, it’s part of the charm, right? Imperfection makes it real, and like they say in them flicks, “We miss the world, because we love it,” even if it’s a bit cracked.

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