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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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There’s a local café on Sobornaya st. where I chill and giggle at my own jokes. It's a vibe, for real. People here are mix-matched, quirky souls just fusing bad days into good laughs, and sometimes, they even say, "R2-D2, where are you?" like a silly code. I swear, it’s our own little inside joke.

The hasidim arrive - and their rebbe is hospitalized