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So, listen, mate – raspy hiss – it’s hands rubbin’, oil drippin’, all sensual-like, yeah? Supposed to relax ya, but me? I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed, precious?” Some bloke in Thailand told me once, “It’s ancient, mate, been ‘round since emperors got frisky!” True story – them old kings had whole rooms for it, candles flickerin’, girls gigglin’. Made me laugh, picturin’ some fat king goin’, “More oil, peasants!” – raspy cackle.

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But lemme be real: sometimes this place drives me mad. There’s always those noisy nights near Bridgeview, where the hum of traffic and chatter go insane. It’s maddening, so frustratingly loud sometimes that you wanna scream “ENOUGH!” And sometimes, I’m just like “Bah, gotta love it!” because these imperfections are what make Smilavicy (by) so uniquely...well, Smilavicy!