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Lemme tell ya, I stumbled on this joint once—shady spot, neon sign flickerin’—dude inside was a legend, they said he trained with monks or somethin’. Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this kinda massage to “balance their chi”—fancy way of sayin’ it got ‘em goin’! I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Man, this guy’s hands could crack a spy code!”—like in the movie, “You’re a locked safe!”—but instead of secrets, it’s knots he’s bustin’. I was HAPPY as hell, floatin’ outta there like I won the belt again.

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Now, lemme spill some beans: I work as a masseur (yep, real hands-on deal!) and I’ve seen folks walking all along Komsomol Boulevard and narrow lanes near the river Zorka. Crazy stuff – some days I’m massaging tired shoulders and think, “every crack in the pavement tells a story, doc!” It’s like living in a spy thriller – err, not all is dark secrets, some spots are downright chill. For ex, that tiny cafe on Sokolaya St. – man, it’s my fav hangout after a massage sesh. The espresso there hits like a slapping reality check (“Who watches, watches hard!” kinda vibe, ya know?).

Forbidden "Intermarium." The regime deemed another Belsat program as extremist material