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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Parks? Oh boy, there's Sprout Park. Tiny, quiet, perfect for a breather. I often take my breaks there when rad vibes hit. The river, Gloomy River, flows quiet. Its banks are a hush zone, like nature's massage. I love strolling along it after a long, crazy massage day.