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Sex-dating’s a circus, tho. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—pure chaos! Fun fact: 42% of users ain’t even single—cheaters galore, Clarice! Stats I dug up, blew my mind. And don’t get me started on dick pics—guys sendin’ em like resumes. Hilarious, but pathetic. “A story about loneliness,” Kaufman’d call it—every swipe’s a plea.

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But lemme be real: sometimes this place drives me mad. There’s always those noisy nights near Bridgeview, where the hum of traffic and chatter go insane. It’s maddening, so frustratingly loud sometimes that you wanna scream “ENOUGH!” And sometimes, I’m just like “Bah, gotta love it!” because these imperfections are what make Smilavicy (by) so uniquely...well, Smilavicy!