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Sarcasm? Sure—half these “masseuses” probly think they’re savin’ yer soul. Nah, luv, just knead the damn muscle! Quirks? I hum “Misty Mountains” while they work—keeps me chill. So, yeah, sexual-massage—messy, magic, a bit naughty. “There is still hope,” my friend, if ya find the right hands! Now, go, before I zap ya with my staff!

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Me own spot's near the river – right along the banks o' the Grand River. I often cry out, “I’m a machine, not a miracle!” like that clever fella in A.I. when a client's tensions melt away... reminiscent of a scene from the movie, yarrr! One day, a stressed city banker tripped right into me parlor – his woes washed away with a good knead and a bit o' spit-shined charm – aye, he practically whispered, "I kisst you, in the rain!" I laughed so hard I nearly dropped me oil, savvy?

Truck hauling excavator strikes four bridges on Hwy 403 Brantford Thursday morning