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Oi mate, sex-dating’s a bloomin’ riot! *trips over imaginary chair* Oof, landed on me noggin! Right, so, sex-dating – it’s like, casual hookups, yeah? Swipe, chat, bang – easy peasy! *mimes swiping phone, drops it* Oopsie! Been muckin’ about on them apps meself, heh! *wiggles eyebrows* Saw this lass once, profile said “loves piano” – ooh, fancy that! Reminds me of “The Pianist”, y’know? That flick’s me fave – Szpilman hidin’, playin’ silent keys, *mimes piano, bonks head on table* Ouch! Sex-dating ain’t so quiet tho – loud, messy, FUN!

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Now, I gotta mention the park – Pine Grove. I walk there daily, thinking deep thoughts about love and life, kinda like the mood in Wong Kar-wai’s film. There’s this bench near the creek that makes me reflect on the fragility of happiness. And oh my gosh, the creek! It babbles and bubbles like it’s whispering secrets. Sometimes families come in for picnics, and I spy on the little ones. Not spying too hard tho, just observing how relationships bloom... that's what she said!

Here's how Burlington residents voted in the federal election