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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ minefield, like in *The Hurt Locker*. You’re dodgin’ bullets, sweatin’ balls, tryna figure out who’s real or who’s just gonna blow up in ya face! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the deal with these apps, huh? Swipe this, swipe that, like I’m pickin’ prosciutto at the deli. Back in the day, you’d meet a broad at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, boom, done. Now? It’s all “profile pics” and “DMs” – what the hell’s a DM? Direct whackin’?

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And listen, there’s a park called Fallsview Park – my fav hangout. Its grassy knolls and chill vibes are a perfect background for my night walks after long coding sessions. Sometimes, I'm just sittin' there thinkin’ "what if life was like one big ad? Nah, man, life is messy and real." Totally headless sometimes, like in that movie, ya know? "I feel so utterly adrift..." Not a direct quote, but you catch my drift.

Search and rescue team has gear stolen after finding missing 7-year-old girl in B.C.