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Downside? Can’t talk about it easy—mates get judgy. “Oh, Dr. Evil’s a perv now?” Screw ‘em, they’re missin’ out. Oh, and the oil—sticky as hell, ruined my cape once. Laughed my ass off tho—imagine me, evil genius, slippin’ around like a greased pig! Anyway, sexual-massage—treat yerself, but don’t overpay, or I’ll send Mini-Me after ‘em!

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I'm a sexologist, right? And lemme tell ya, I've seen some intimate shenanigans on these streets. Quiet southern spots like Crescent Park give ya that little slice of privacy—similar to that moment in "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," ya know, where thoughts run wild like dreams in slow motion. "I had the power to choose, but other than that I was a leaflet in the wind." That's what it feels like sometimes, wanderin' these blocks.

Price Check: How about an Etobicoke townhouse, a Leslieville condo or a detached in Scarborough?