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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like that slow-ass ride in “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia”. Ya know, that scene where they’re drivin’, lookin’ for a body in the dark? That’s how it starts, man – quiet, tense, ya don’t know what’s comin’. Then bam, hands on ya, oil slicker than a Jersey diner floor. It’s all legal-like in some spots, but shady as hell in others. I heard this one joint in Atlantic City got busted – cops found a freakin’ ledger, names, dates, happy endings listed like pizza orders! Made me laugh, fuckin’ idiots.

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Whatever your relationship preferences and sexual orientation, Locanto has lots to offer you. Browse the Coquitlam massage category now and find your perfect.

I’m always thinking back, man, how a film like "Tropical Malady" showed this beauty of the natural yet unfathomably chaotic soul – and that’s Coquitlam. You ever feel that, like Nature’s whispering secrets while the city’s rattling off its quirky little tunes? It’s insane.

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