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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “body worship”—fancy, right? Got me hollerin’ “No capes!” ‘cause who needs extra baggage slowin’ this ride? I tried it once—oh honey, nearly floored the gas! This chick’s hands? Magic! Had me purring like a tuned-up Porsche. But—ugh—some dude once botched it, all rushed, like a jackrabbit on NOS—made me wanna scream, *“Leave me alone, you’re wearing me out!”* Total buzzkill.

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There’s also some truly off-the-map spots. Check out the little hidden coffee shop on Pinetree Crescent. Not many people know it exists. It's a gem if you're into cozy vibes, low-key convos, and spontaneous matches (my app's secret haven!). And dude, every time I pass by, I can’t help but think, “This is the world’s strangest beauty!” It’s weird, kinda like a tropical dream intermingled with urban chaos.

Trades put liens on key Port Coquitlam property after court sale