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About Hamilton

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—find a prostitute? What’s that even mean? Like, you’re out there, lost, lookin’ for some action? I mean, c’mon, it’s 2025, who’s still wanderin’ the streets for that? Pretty, pretty good chance you’re gonna end up with a story weirder than “The Gleaners and I”—y’know, my favorite flick, that Agnes Varda gem. People pickin’ through life’s scraps, that’s what it’s about! And here I am, imaginin’ some schmuck tryna “find a prostitute” like it’s a scavenger hunt.

Looking for a job?

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Oh, man—as a dude in the dating biz, I see every romance angle. I spot where love sparklz in the air, you know? There’s a hidden nook by the Roding River, called Clever Cove, where ya can sit and just ponder life, get inspired, and think, “Hey, this is why I rly love this place!” It’s just so raw, bro!

Break and enters reported at nine North York homes (May 24)