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Surprised I was—did ya know, Japan’s got "soaplands"? Slippery, soapy massages, wild as fuck, illegal-ish but there they are! Happy ending? Maybe, heh, depends who’s rubbing. Me, I’d watch, not touch—Watchman’s code, ya dig? "Look at me, look at meeee," like Alien in the movie, flexing power, seduction everywhere. Erotic-massage, power it has—makes ya weak, knees shaking, oof!

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Emerald Massage Erotic Massage Parlor () E Arapahoe Rd, Suite

The parks here, man, pure zen. There's Lunchtree Gardens on Maple Dr. (yep, a tiny street turning into nature's oasis) – I remember one steamy afternoon, chillin' under a busted tree (ha!) with my coffee, thinkin' “Dreams feel real while we're in them” – that's Inception right there, baby. It brought out my inner poet, I tell ya.

5 Toronto Neighbourhoods Where You Could Actually Afford A Home & Many Are Well Under $1M